Darling, sorry

16 Feb is our anniversary

16 Feb 2008 was the first day I realize that in this life I only love you, and I hv to find u.

It’s has been 5 years, and I havent found you. 🙂

are you hidding from me?



I am always here for you darl…

insha Allah we are one… 🙂

I will wait for you more, till you come to me. even thousands year 😀 he he

Luv you as always insha Allah…

I do need you darl…

if I dont have Iman and Islam inside of my heart and mind, I am sure I prefer to commit suicide.

I feel nothing, and I want to be at the closest place to Allah…

I am afraid I cannot bear this alone darl.

I miss u so bad, and more than that.

I am afraid

I am afraid I betray you…

I am still 23 nearly 24

I dont know when you will come to me…

2 years later? 3? 4? 5?

How can I stand to stay on ur name which is unknown for that long time?

Darl. please pray for me. I will try my best, to stay on ur name only.

insha Allah.

Luv you…

I love you

this love is getting bigger

yet I know u are not ready to meet me…

how long should I wait you darl?

dont say till I am burried on my grave.

I just want to be halal for you… I am affraid with haram relationship… I am afraid darl…

can u hear me how I scream inside of my heart?

I am strong woman darl ^_^


I promis I will try to be strong woman in this world,

I am alone, but I can feel that you always beside me darl.

I am strong enough although I know it has been flooding of tears on my eyes

because I am little bit tired always imagining you whom I dont know you will come to me.

I am strong enough darling, insha Allah.

Just pray for me that Allah will give me activities to forget that I am alone.

Activities that make me busy and not thinking to betray you to other men.

Darl, really, insha Allah I love you by all my heart now.

#I communicated again with my ex darl. I am very happy that he is reaching his dream. I pray for that. but I know he doesnt want my presence. He always feels disturb because of me.

Darl, if someone is worth and loved, she/her is never disturbing right?

and I know my ex is not you darl 🙂

I hope he will get someone better.

and I pray that I will marry someone I love that someone loves me. as the way we are. insha Allah. ameen. 🙂

It’s difficult darl

darl… it hurts me when someone tries to match me to a man.

it hurts me because I cannot feel he is you.

I believe Allah will make me recognize you.

but darl, nowadays when my friends think that I am old enough and ready to marry. 

I feel so much hurt being matched…

I just miss you darl. when will you come? are u one of them who are matched with me?

I dont wanna do trials and error.

darl, call me. I ‘ll answer you, so you can recognize me. so you dont need to be worried that I will go from you.

Insha Allah I am trying not to betray you.

I keep this heart for you, only.

The one I will feel very strong connection; my husband.

Luv u darl hub, as always insha Allah.

I am trying to keep smile 🙂 bcz I remember you, I dont wanna be sad bcz I believe you are also still looking for me now 🙂

May Allah always help us darl, ameeeen. 🙂